the past returns
by molko-molko-bang
Summary: Bakura's past is a little romantic surprise surprise...his past comes back to tease him...a very hot past too!
1. Chapter 1

The Past Returns

disclaimer: I own nothing to do with yu-gi-oh or anything else.

sumary: Bakura's past comes back to haunt him...and it's a HOT one!!!!

chapter 1

it was 3pm. In 10 minutes the bell wouls ring and it would be the official start of the summer holidays. The gang was talking excitedly about thier summer plans, everyone pitching in as to what they were going to do, but Ryou was unusualu quiet and Yugi being his sensitive self sensed something was wrong. "Ryou, are you ok?" Yugi asked a little worried. "Yeah you be happy we don't have school for two whole months! What are you gonna do this summer?" Jou asked smiling, waiting for an answer. all he said was "I don't know." By now everyone (except Jou) noticed that Ryou wasn't looking at them at all. In fact he was completely focused on someone else.

Everyone turned to see the beautiful new student talking with some other classmates. "aaawww, Ryou has a crush on the new girl." Jou said teasing Ryou. Ryou turned a deep crimson and turned away murmuring under his breath "i do not." It was true however he did like this girl but he didn't know why. He had never spoken to her and never seen her before she got here, yet she somehow looked so familiar. He decided to tell Bakura about her when he got home.

molko: short i know but i'm not good with the long chapter thing. i write just enough to keep you interested but not to much as for you to get bored. so please RR and tell me what you think. (just a brief warning: my authors notes are really wierd but please read them it makes everything funnier...as you can see in "yu-gi-obits"...pleas read that one to...if it's not posted it will be soon...i have to type it first...ithas no plot what soever(it was supposed to at first but we jus got carried away) but it's funny as all hell and in my opinion it will keep you reading and laughing till the end...lol


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The bell had rung and everyone scrambled out happily toward thier freedom...except Ryou. He slowly realized that he was the only one left in the room and walked out. When he got outside, to his horror, he saw the group of boys who always liked to push him around. He tried to sneak away but he failed misserably. They had spotted thier favorite victim and surounded him before he could run away. He was clutching his millenium ring under his shirt for dear life afraid that they might see it and take it from him. "what's wrong? you look like you're about to cry!" the bully was taunting him. "what's the matter? cat got your toungue?...well...i can fix that" as two boys held him up the leader prepared for the strike.

Before he could hit Ryou something had stirred his ring and it started to shake violently and lit up to almost half as bright as the sun! As soon as this happened the boys dropped him and ran. he quickly took his ring out of his shirt ,which had calmed down now, to examine it. It had never done this before. The ring was pointing straight forward,he looked up in the direction and saw HER. She was standing there so beautiful with her long raven hair and practically neon aqua eyes , something on her righ arm lit up under her uniform, she looked at it and ran before Ryou could stop her.

The ring fell to his chest once more. He didn't know what was going on,all he knew about this girl is that her name was Rihana and she was an exchange student from northern egypt(you could really tell by her accent). He had to get home and tell Bakura wat happened right away.He stuffed his ring back under his shirt and ran all the way home not stopping once and almost getting run over in the process. He stopped at the front only for a second to catch his breath and unlock the door. He came home to find Bakura sitting on the couch whatching a day time soap and chewing on raw steak which was leaknig on the carpet. "About time! So what are we doin this summer?!" Bakura asked through a mouthful of steak. "Before we do anything i have to tell you something!"..."Oh no...you're coming out!" Bakura teased. " I'm serious Bakura!"..." Ra, ok! don't get your panties in a bunch, i was kidding. What do you want to tell me?" Bakura said while making some room on the couch for Ryou.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

molko: lol...did you like the coming out thing?...i thought it was funny.

Ryou: well i didn't. That was a little rude. I can't help but think you were making an insulting comment about my sexuality.

Molko: well...KUH-DUH!!!!!...wow i thought you were the smart one how long did it take you to catch on sherlock?

Ryou: stop being mean to me! (runs away ans sits in a corner)

Bakura: (comes out of the shadows) see what i have to live with?...and you think just dealing with him for the story is bad!

Ryou: now you're mean to me too?!!!!!!!!!!? (runs out of the room sobbing into his sleeve)

Molko: well thats a spectical.

Bakura: yeah...so anyway...when do i get to wear all these cool clothes i found?!

Molko: WHAT! you're not supposed to see those until chapter 4! ...has anyone else seen them?

Bakura: nope just me...i found them in you'r private stash...lol...i'll be quiet though...IF...

Molko: if what!?!?

Bakura: (comes close to whisper something)

Molko: o !...well then i must go...i have things to see people to do...i mean...stike that reverse it...lol...(eys Bakura seductively -)

Bakura: you heard her people now get the hell out of here!

Molko: laterz


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ryou sat down on the couch and for a while said nothing. "Well? Get on with it!" Bakura exclaimed being the very inpatient Egyptian that he is. "Well", Ryou began "after school I was walking and these guys that like to mess with me were going to beat me up when the ring started shaking violently and they ran . So I looked at it and it was pointing to the new exchange student…" Bakura cut him off, "so that's what I felt…I just thought you were going crazy or something…" Ryou put on a little frown at the comment but continued. "As I was saying, the ring was pointing at her and something on her arm lit up and she ran away before I could catch her." Ryou took a breath. "Did this happen to be her RIGHT arm?" Bakura asked thinking. "Yes, how did you know?" In the few seconds following Ryou's answer Bakura was bouncing off the walls and shouting Egyptian exclamations which Ryou could only imagine were of some kind of joy. Bakura's eyes looked like a little kids at Christmas time! (If you can imagine that). Ryou could only smile. He didn't know what else to do; he'd never seen Bakura so happy, EVER!!

"Do you know what this means!!!!????" Bakura grabbed Ryou by the shoulders and shook him like a maraca! "No! Stop shaking me! Why are you like this?" ….. "Huh?" Bakura was surprised… "Oh that's right. I never told you about her." "Told me about who?" Ryou was confused. "You were told along with everyone else that there were only 7 items made. Actually there were 8 made. They told everyone that there were only 7 to save themselves the embarrassment of admitting that they were robbed. (Bakura laughed a little) the items were not given as they say the items chose their owners. The ring chose me and other 6 chose their people also, however the 8th never chose anyone. They started worrying that maybe the item was incomplete or maybe broken, finally they decided that it just needed time to decide. Well they waited for about a month then I stole it. Yes I stole it, it was shiny I couldn't help it. (Ryou chuckled a little at this). When I tried to control it it wouldn't work for me so I just kept it to look at it and to boast about the fact that I stole something from the temple that supposed to be impossible to rob. Then I met HER. She was so beautiful I had to have her being a collector of beautiful things. In time I fell in love with her. I prised her more than anything I had ever stolen. I gave the 8th item to her and the second she had it on her arm I knew that had chosen her. I was going to marry her and give up the life I had led for a simple family life, then fate intervened, the war began, and well you know the rest."

Ryou sat on the couch silently with his mouth open trying to comprehend everything he had just heard. "Why didn't you tell me all this before?"… "I don't know. I never really told anyone. The only ho knew about her was Malick."….Ryou was trying to think of what to make of all of this. "Oh my god what are we going to do!?!!!!! What if she recognized me and what if she tells someone about the 8th item they wouldn't understand!!!!!" "Actually Ryou everyone who has a millennium item knows about the 8th one. We just weren't supposed to tell anybody , but I felt that you would understand so I told you. That and there was no other way to explain Malon." (Molko: it's not M-ae-lon…it's M-ah-lo'n)…"Is that her name?Malon?"…"Yes. Although I don't believe she would tell anyone anything about her item I do believe that we should find her especially since your lame ass doesn't want to do anything else this summer."

(mind link)

/hey Bakura/

//What?//

/just remember that my lame ass is your lame ass/

//oh yeah//

/idiot/

//what was that?//

/nothing!/

They talked some more about all the things that you didn't know about the past then fell asleep laughing at all the fake Egyptian stuff in the mummy returns…

Molko: Well that wasn't what I originally wrote but it's a lot better!...what I originally wrote was lame. Kinda like Ryou.

Ryou: I am not lame!...i just don't like to do things I haven't planned.

Molko: NERD!!!!!

Malick: who's a nerd? Because I know your not talking about me.

Molko: Ryou…

Malick: oh well in that case yeah he is a nerd.

Ryou: hey I'm right here you know!

Molko: and don't you noticed the geeky clothes?...i mean a shirt and tie can be stylish if worn the right way and on the right occasion but the sweater-vest? I mean come on don't you think it's ridiculous?!

Malick: YES!!! Finally someone agrees with me! If I could have 10 minutes with him in my closet he would be the sexiest thing to walk the earth! Besides me and YMalick and the Bakura and the pharoh…

Molko: alright I get the idea…he'd be hot but not as hot as the original hotties I got it.

Malick: see you know what I mean.

Ryou: you guys are evil.

Molko & Malick: THANX!

Bakura: oh Ra. Molko and Malick together?! This is gonna get very very pretty.

Ryou: don't you mean ugly?

Bakura: No. them together me clothes, makeup, and hair, not to mention talk about hot guys…

Ryou: Oh Well in that case I'm gonna run for my life because they already started talking about the way I dress.

Molko: Well Ryou you can run now but in the next two chapters you and Bakura will be mad into two sexy ass men.

Bakura: Sweet, I get to wear those pants I found.

Molko: well actually since you already saw those clothes I'm just gonna send you over to the Malicks'closet to be made over by them.

Bakura & Ryou: Shit!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Molko: ok. For the rest of the story I'm going to switch to direct dialogue cuz it's easier and in my opinion better SO—ON WITH THE STORY!!!

Bakura: stop yelling…Ra…

…..

The next morning Ryou was woken by the sounds of rummaging and Egyptian curses coming from _his_ closet.

Ryou: Bakura..what are you doing?

Bakura: looking for something decent to wear.

Ryou: well why are you looking through my closet? You don't even like what I wear.

Bakura: oh yeah. Your right. You do dress terrible.

Ryou: gee thanks.

Bakura: well we'll just have to go visit Yami.

Ryou/ lord why me?/

Bakura: what was that?

Ryou: nothing lets just get this over with.

At Yugi's…

Yugi: hey guys! What's going on?! ( Molko: way too happy! Gag.)

Ryou: Hey Yugi.

Bakura: Where's the pharoh?

Yugi: Why? Are you going to try to kill him AGAIN?

Bakura: NO…// well I was thinking about it// Actually I need him to dress me in something nice.

Yami: (appears from nowhere) did I hear someone needing fashion advice?!

Bakura runs towards Yami and drags him into Yugi's room closing the door behind him

Ryou: This is going to be interesting.

Yugi: Yeah.

Both hikaris run up the stairs and wait lean quietly against the door to hear what's going on inside.

Bakura: What about this?

Yami: Well I don't know. But try it on anyway

Bakura: it's too tight. (gasping)

Yami: honey nothing is ever too tight. Let me help you.

Bakura: OW! Don't pull on it so hard it hurts!

Yami: Sorry. Now hold still!

Outside Ryou and Yugi heard many grunts and odd noises.

Yami: It's just not working…take it off.

Bakura: Finally! I told you it didn't fit.

Yami: Try this on. (Throws Bakura a transparent deep green shirt)

Bakura: Are you sure? (Inspects the piece of cloth carefully)

Yami: What did I say? Trust me.

Bakura: ok. (fumbles with the shirt) Hey Yami. I think I'm stuck.

Yami: hold on. Stop squirming. I'll hold it open and you put it in.

( Molko: He's holding open the sleeve for Bakura's arm you dirty minded people…lol)

More noises…

Yami: There! It looks good on you.

Bakura: Really?

Yami: Ra yes! ( whistles) now put on these pants.

Bakura: These won't fit either!...Ra what size are you -3?

Yami: NO!...and yes they will fit…like I said nothing is ever too tight. Let me show you..you'll have to lay down.

Bakura: ok..but if you try anything that's your ass

Yami: but I don't have a donkey..

Bakura: shut up. You know what I mean.

Yami: I know just trust me..you want o look good don't you?

Bakura: Yeah but.

Yami: but nothing..just do it..

Outside the two hikaris can hear the squeak of the bed.

Yami: ok now just let all of your air out and hold it.

Bakura: ok..( breathes out)

All of a sudden Yugi's clumsey self trips and accidentally opens the door.

Ryou: ( jaw drops to the floor then he shields his eyes)

Yugi: OH MY GOD!! ON MY BED YAMI!!!!

Bakura: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!

Th hikaris run away down the stairs leaving their yami's to struggle with Bakura's pants

LATER…

Yami: There all done! I must say Baku you look like a god!

Bakura: For what I had to go through I better!

Yami: Right. Now let's go show Ryou and Yugi.

Bakura: ok. Let's do it.

They both come down the stairs to find Ryou and Yugi cowering behind the counter of the shop.

( Molko: just a little info here. Bakura is wearing a pair of the pharoh's black leather pants without the buckles, a loose fitting black botton up shirt(half bottoned), and some fly ass black shoes…..DREWL!!!!!!!!!!)

Yami: hey guys! Come see the new Bakura! Don't worry we're fully dressed!

Ryou: oh ok then.

Ryou and Yugi come up from behind the counter

Ryou and Yugi: WOW! Bakura you look great!

Yami: I know right.

Bakura: Thanks pharoh.

Yami: you're welcome. But you owe me one.

Bakura: how about I stop trying to kill you?

Yami: sounds good enough.

Bakura: ok then Ryou let's go!

Bakura grabs Ryou and dashes out the door without even saying goodbye.

Yami: say Yugi.

Yugi: yes?

Yami: Did Ryou tell you why Bakura wanted to look good?

Yugi: no. come to think of it he didn't..

Yami: hm… I wonder.

…….

Molko: see Bakura that wasn't so bad.

Bakura: no I guess not…and I do look good.

Molko: hell yes you do!... I mean – you look ok.

Bakura: oh don't deny it..you agree with Yami you think I'm a god!

Molko: OK FINE! Maybe I do!...so what?

Bakura: so…what are you doing after you post this chapter?

Molko: well I was gonna go home..you know a long day on the set wipes you out. But I guess I have enough energy for one more _activity_ if you want to come home with me.

Bakura: hmmm…what kind of activity?

Molko: one guess.

Bakura: well in that ca-

Molko: sshh!...oh shit!..the readers can hear!

Bakura: oh!...ahem yes well your ideas for the next chapter are very interesting I think everyone will like it..

Molko: yes I hope so…well goodnight Bakura I'll see you tomorrow

Bakura: yes tomorrow then

Both sneak out to Molko's car and speed off. -


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Molko: ok everyone I'm back! Hehe….well I'm gonna keep going with the direct dialogue it seems to work. Don't forget to check out me and my friends story. I have it posted soon to be more…the beginning is a little slow but believe it's hilarious!!!! But you have to read all the authors' notes to make it work. Yeah , so….uh- well- anyway…ON WITH THE STORY!!

Bakura: Alright Ryou, where does she live?

Ryou: I don't know.

Bakura: what do you mean you don't know?!!!!!???!!

Ryou: I'm not her stalker!!!!

Bakura: Well then how do I find her?

Ryou: hell if I know.

Bakura: Ryou!

Ryou: what?

Bakura: I've never heard you talk like that before!!!

Ryou: Eh, it's in the script.

Bakura? (looking very confused)

(Molko: hehe…that's right Ryou you are my puppet…just following the script.---- Ryou: hey!...oh well whatever)

Bakura: oh well….anyways….where would you be if you were an Egyptian exchange student with a millenium item?

Ryou: well we could always…

Bakura: HELL NO!!!!!!! WE ARE NOT GOING THERE!

Later on in front of Malik's front door

Bakura: I told you I'm never going to talk to him again!

Ryou: why? Just because he gave you food poisoning? You lived didn't you?

Bakura: well yeah but still…

Ryou: but nothing! You want to find her don't you?!

Bakura: YES OF COURSE!

Ryou: Well Malik can help us

Bakura: I still don't trust him

Ryou: you don't have to, just ask him.

Bakura: fine but only for her!

Ryou: Alright well here we go (knocks on the door)

Malik: (from behind the door) just a minute! We have to make ourselves decent!

Yami M: (laughing) he means we have to put some clothes on. (opens door)

Malik: oh Ryou! What a pleasant surprise. Please come in.

Ryou: Bakura I'm starting to think this _was_ a bad idea!

Bakura: told you so!!!

Yami Malik drags them both inside and locks the door behind them.

Yami M: you're not going anywhere. What do you want?

Bakura: Aaaaaah! Put some clothes on you indecent bastards!

Malik: we're dressed!!!!!

Ryou: I hardly think that two people in one bathrobe is considered dressed!!!!!

Yami M: FINE! Let's go put some clothes on.

Malik: ok (kisses YM)

Yami M: um, we might be a while (looks down) so make yourselves comfortable. And don't worry Isis is at work. (wink-wink)

Ryou: Ooookay. (grossed out)

Bakura: (shielding his eyes and trying not to puke)-

An hour later the Maliks come down stairs fully dressed

(Molko: wow that's a surprise.- Malik: I know huh?- Molko: you guys are such nymphos- YM: I know right….but so are you!- Molko: HEY!!!! Only you two are supposed to know that- Malik: well I guess now the readers know to. But don't worry we won't tell anyone else- Bakura: (comes out of the shadows) no, but I will!!!! Hahhahhahahahaahhhaaha….SMACK! (runs into large metal pole)- Molko: that's what you get! Thanks for the metal pole sweetheart- Seto: no problem (wink)- Molko: well on with the story!)

Ryou: Bakura wake up they're done.

Bakura: (rubbing his eyes) FINALLY!

Yami M: keep your pants on or better yet take them off….ahem…never mind…so what do you two want?

Ryou: Bakura has something to ask you (elbows Bakura hard)

Bakura/ OW! Asshole/

Ryou// I heard that idiot//

Malik: well?

Bakura: I'm trying to find my wife but I don't know where to look for her.

Yami M: Already! Don't you have to take these modern girls on a, what's it called, a _date_ first?

Bakura: why would I take her on a fruit?

Malik & Ryou: it's not a fruit idiots!!!

Bakura & Yami M: then what is it?

Ryou: a date is where you take someone out for a good time.

Malik: like dinner and a movie.

Bakura: well whatever forget about that stuff. Malik I'm talking about Malon.

Yami M: what? What about her? She's not…?

Bakura: yes she is! Ryou saw her at school!! She's an exchange student from Egypt!

Yami M: wow! I haven't seen her in (counts on fingers) five thousand years!!!

Bakura: yeah but you weren't the one that was gonna marry her.

Yami M: oh yeah. Well where is she?

Bakura & Ryou: we don't know!!!

Ryou: that's why we came here! We were hoping you'd know where she might be.

Yami M: well if I were an exchange student from Egypt in Japan I would be…

Malik: I know where!!!

Yami M: oh yeah! She could be _there._

Bakura & Ryou: where's there!?!?!?!?!?

Yami M: you'll see!!! (Maniacal laughter)

YM & Malik: (more maniacal laughter)

Molko: oh this is getting better and better! Hm I wonder where they're going? You'll find out in the next chapter! Muahahahahahahahahahahaah- choke cough deep breathe ok I'm good now…hehe…

Bakura: you're dumb

Molko: yeah but you love it

Bakura: you know I love it when you can't breathe wink-wink

Molko: SSSHHHH!!!! THE READERS!

Bakura: oh yeah sorry.

Molko: sorry about that readers…

Malon: when am I gonna get to go on?!

Molko: all in due time…I still have to figure out what you're gonna wear…lol

Malon: oh Ra….oh well….see you later folks


End file.
